Break Away
by princesspriscillamaxwell
Summary: Heero remembers his friends from the wars and the impact that they have had on his life. He is forever grateful to each and everyone's contribution and goes to pay his repects before he heads off to live on for all.


_Dreaming of what could be,_

_And if I'd end up happy,  
I would pray._

It was that time of the year again. That is the time to pay his condolences to his fellow pilots, comrades, to his friends. It was inevitable after all what comes after life is death and all people knew that there is no cure for death.

_Try not to reach out,  
But when I tried to speak out,  
Felt like no-one could hear me.  
Wanted to belong here,_

First to go was Trowa. Quiet Trowa who spoke little of his past. Heero was the only out of other four pilots who knew about his history. Trowa had told him everything during his recovery period after he had self destructed. A nobody, he had called himself back then but deep down inside Heero knew that he strived and wished to acknowledged. He knew that Trowa wanted more than anything to be a someone. Even during his days as a gundam pilot, Trowa was the least well known out of the five but maybe that was for the best. Giving Oz too much information wouldn't have brought them the peace that everyone fought for. Trowa longed to become recognised. Heero shook his head. Ironic that it was his last performance that brought him fame.

It was an accident at the circus that had caused his death but nobody knows for certain. It could have been an assassination attempt or Trowa was just in the wrong place at the wrong time but the result would be the same, a death.

Rumour has it that the grandstand (1) in the tent had not been set up properly. The worker who was in charge of taking it down on that day had unfortunately fallen sick on that day so Trowa volunteered to take his place. He had arrived to take down the seats and what happened next, nobody knows. Gundam pilot 03 died due to broken ribs and a punctured lung after being squashed by tonnes of steel, wooden slats and plastic seats.

That incident happened six years ago.

Heero took out a piece of neatly folded paper and stuck it onto the tombstone next to his picture. It was a newspaper clipping highlighting Trowa's spectacular performances at the circus. It told of his three-year career at the circus and how it had ended all too quickly for the eager performer.

He placed a single flower on the grave before moving on

_Buildings with a 100 floors,  
Swinging around revolving doors,  
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me._

The Winner family was well known and were definitely respected in the department of inter – colony business. Heero had never connected with Quatre the same way as Trowa or Duo did. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he looked so fragile but the blonde had proved over and over that he could not be broken that easily. Quatre handled his business well and turned over a large profit each year. He was a generous man who gave most of his profits to the needy. Quatre had even set up charity fund to help out those who had suffragettes of the war. He was a kind man who was always ready to help a friend out when they were in financial trouble.

Quatre's death showed that even the kindest man had enemies. His death was caused assassination. The murder case was looked into and the assassin was arrested. It appears that the man who did the deed was not satisfied when he found out that his workmates had received a higher pay rise than he did. The disgruntled man arranged for a private meeting with the manager and killed. Quatre died a quick short death caused by a shot in the head.

Heero fished around in his other pocket and pulled out a blue ribbon that the charity fund sold to raise money. The Japanese stuck the ribbon onto the gravestone and laid a flower down.

_Wanna feel the warm breeze,  
Sleep under a palm tree,  
Feel the rush of the ocean,_

Wufei was the one to go. He was the one that Heero regarded as the strong one within the group, no matter what everybody else thought. It was Wufei who held him back and forced him not to seek revenge on his friends. It was Wufei who calmed him down and taught him how to meditate. Soon he was seeing things differently and with time was able to forgive himself and others.

However the death of Wufei almost caused him to forget his coaching. The police officers had simply stated that his death was caused by a car crash but Heero knew better. At the autopsy Heero had noted that Wufei's throat had been sliced open. The Japanese man could only guess that somebody had cut open his friend's throat before putting him in a car to make it look like an accident but there was no evidence to prove it. So a car crash it had remained.

Heero laid a single red rose on Wufei's grave and stuck a picture of Merian, his late wife onto his gravestone. It was the only way he could think of to acknowledge husband and wife.

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,  
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,  
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away._

Heero moved onto the next grave. Heero knelt and placed a hand on the newly embedded gravestone. With his free hand he began to trace out the words that had been engraved into the cement block.

May we never forget the late

Gundam Pilot Duo Maxwell

Rest In Peace

My Friend

Reading the inscription again and again would not bring his friend back and he knew it. Duo had died from cancer, from being in contact with dangerous machinery, from being in space too long.

His braided comrade had first diagnosed with this disease just last year after collapsing from pain in a shopping center. He had been taken immediately to the hospital for an emergency check up only to be told that he had lung cancer. Heero remembered it quite clearly now. His partner had jumped off the examination table with high spirits saying that Shinigami could not claim his soul without a battle and that advanced medicine would cure him would cure him in next to no time. Duo had smiled brightly at the doctor but Heero could see the fear through his eyes. He could tell that Duo had never been more scared in his entire life.

The news had a drastic effect Heero's life for he had taken a liking to the braided boy. After all, how could one not smile or laugh at the American's antics and peculiar ways of life? Every single habit, expression and quirk had been ingrained deeply into Heero's mind. He really did not know how he could live on without the braided boy's presence.

Heero was already worried when the doctor had first diagnosed Duo but as his friend's condition worsened so did his fears. He took careful precaution as not to say shut up or Omae O Korosu when Duo was around in case he hurt his friend's feelings or depress him further. He even delved into the world of science hoping to find a cure and later approached the doctor armed with as all the information he could find.

"Doctor I've gone and done some research on Duo's condition and I...I just...I just want to...Doc I just want to know, how much time does he have...time to live that is."

The doctor looked Heero straight in the eye searching to see if the patient's friend was ready to receive the crushing news. When he saw the sheer determination in the young man's eyes the doctor sat back in his chair and cleared his throat.

"Your friend." He said slowly "is at a critical stage."

Heero slammed a fist on the table. Eyebrows furrowed. "How critical is critical? I need to know."

The doctor jumped in his seat and pushed his chair back an inch. "Please Mr Yuy. We won't get anywhere if you don't calm yourself."

Heero sat back in his seat and quickly did some breathing exercises that Wufei had taught him.

"Sorry doctor. Please continue."

"Very well." The doctor nodded and pulled out a few x rays. He pointed to a large lump inside Duo's left lung.

"This is the size of the cancer when we first diagnosed him. As you can see, it is about the size of a pea but still it is big enough to disturb his bronchioli (2). As you can see, some of these have been squashed and this limits the amount of air that one breathes in."

Heero nodded. "Yes. I see and know all of this. You explained it last time I came and visited you. But what is his condition now?"

The doctor held up a hand. "I'm getting there." He said and pointed to another x-ray. "This here is the latest picture of your friend's lung. You can see the size the cancer has grown to in nine months."

Heero stared in disbelief at the size of the cancer. It was the size of a tennis ball. It has squashed nearly all the bronchioli in the left lung, which meant...Duo was relying on one lung to survive.

"The cancer is growing faster than predicted so-"

"Can't you do anything about it?" Heero exclaimed. "Duo said something about advanced medicine being able to cure him. Can't you try it?"

The doctor shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, we cannot simply perform open surgery on a lung-"

"What about lasers? Gamma rays (3)? They've have been around for a long time." Heero was almost shouting now. His queries no longer sounded like questions but demands. "They're safe enough to use on brain tumours so why not on the lung?"

"Gamma rays are only safe to use on certain parts of the body." The doctor explained. "But only where we are sure that they will not affect or cause further damage. You are correct in saying that it is used on brain tumours however we cannot use it if the cancer is already too far gone."

"So? Duo doesn't have a brain tumour. He has lung cancer. Can't you use it to cure that?"

The doctor shook his head again. "No. If we used it then we would be increasing, no I mean we would be putting your friend's health in further jeopardy."

"How? Why?"

The doctor pointed at the x-rays again. "The rays destroy the cancer or to make it simpler, the bad cells. But in Duo's case, the bad cells have attached themselves to the bronchioli, the good cells. If we used the laser then basically we would be destroy Duo's lungs, making it painful for him to breathe.

Heero slumped his head into his hands. "So, there is nothing I can do.

"I'm sorry Heero, there is nothing we can do to help your friend."

"I understand Doctor." Heero said in a wavering voice. "At you tell me a way to make his death as less painful as possible. It hurts me to see him in so much pain every time he takes a deep breath or cough."

"I'm sorry. Your friend at most has only three months to live. There is nothing I can do."

_Out of the darkness and into the sun,  
I won't forget all the ones that I love.  
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away._

Heero stood by Duo's bed holding his friends hand with both of his own. Earlier in morning Duo had woken up gasping for air and was immediately taken to hospital for treatment. Now Duo lay in a hospital bed. He was not allowed blankets in case they caused the braided boy difficultly in breathing. Heero looked down at the American's sleeping form. Wires and IV's attached to his wrists and chest. He was hooked up on life support and wore an oxygen mask. All in all, Duo did not look like Duo anymore. He did not resemble the bouncy and ever energetic person that he once was.

The doctor had said that Duo had three months to live but it was now six months since that meeting. Heero had taken special care in looking after Duo and stood by his side at all times. Both had fought the disease head on, especially Duo who had fought the disease bravely. In doing so he had bought himself an extra three months.

Heero's attention was quickly diverted when he felt the fingers in his hand twitch. He looked down to see squinting violet orbs.

"Ro?" whispered Duo.

"Yes Duo? What's wrong?" Heero asked anxiously and unconsciously moved his hand to the buzzer. (4)" Is there anything you need? Do you want me to call the nurse or doctor?"

Duo moves his head side to side gently.

"Ro, I don't have much time." He stopped to take a few breaths. "I think. Shinigami has finally come for me."

Heero gripped Duo's hand tighter. "No Duo. Be strong. Fight it for me."

"Can't. Tired."

"Listen to me. Remember when we first met? You shot me, you shot me twice and I lived on. I now understand why. I lived on for you so please Duo. Please I'm begging you. Please fight it and live for me because...because Duo I need you. I don't think I could live without you."

Duo smiled weakly.

"You did eh?" he whispered. "And now you love me?"

A lone tear rolled down his cheek and Heero reached out and wiped it away.

"Yes. Please fight it. Fight this horrible thing so we can be together."

_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,  
Tho its not easy to tell you goodbye.  
Gotta take a risk, take a chance,_

"I want to Heero. I want to live. But...its too late."

"Its never too late!"

"Ro. Ro, promise me after this you will move on and live for me."

Heero's eyes widened when he saw his friend close his eyes. "Duo! Duo! Don't you dare leave me by myself. Do you hear me? Do not leave me!" With tears freely streaming down his face the Japanese began slamming his fist rapidly onto the buzzer.

Duo opened his eyes and Heero saw Duo smile for the very last time.

"I hear you." He breathed. "It would be rude of me to go without saying goodbye."

"DUO! No! Come back. I don't want you to say goodbye. I want you! I want you to stay!"

A nurse approached the distressed man. "Sir if you would please leave the room."

"No. I want him back. I want him back." Heero repeated over and over as he was pushed out of the room. "Duo come back. Don't leave me."

Heero remembered all this too well.

"Duo, you left me alone in this world." He said softly to the smiling picture of Duo that was on the tombstone. "We were supposed to fight this together. You were supposed to live. But you had to leave me alone. You asked me if I would live on for you and the answer is yes. I will live on for you, for everyone. I will remember all of you wherever I go."

Then Heero pulled out a chain necklace with a small cross pendant and put it round his own neck. "I'll wear this to keep all of you close to my heart. I promise I will never forget my past." He said and laid a violet onto the grave.

"Rest in peace my friend. Rest in peace."

And then Heero stood up and walked away to live on and start a new life.

_Out of the darkness and into the sun,  
But I won't forget the place I come from.  
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,  
Make a change, and break away._

**_OWARI_**

Grandstand: Seats nearest the rings on each side of the big top and sold for an extra price.

Bronchioli: Small passages within the lungs

Gamma Rays: A form of radiation used to cure cancer without open surgery.

Buzzer: Hospital buzzer used to call nurses and doctors by patients.


End file.
